Been Here Before

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May 7, 2021

Wow. The sixth anniversary of my father’s passing.  Which happens to be my brothers sixtieth birthday.  Here’s how I think.  I can’t help it.  I just am the way that I am.  My brothers tormented life as a teen and beyond.  Have we lived this life before?  Did he know inside his unwritten chapters that his birthday would no longer carry the celebration on the day that would become my father’s final day?  They never got along.  He kept running away from home.  Which had a huge impact on me.  To this very moment I have serious issues with commitment.  Family love is supposed to be thicker than water.  That’s what Andy Gibb sang in the 1970’s!  Love is thicker than water.  Oh my.  I have out of control departure issues.  Only to be placed in an area of history where it’s completely 100% OK to ghost a friend or family member on social media.  You don’t like what they say or feel something isn’t right and boom pow biff bang you’re out of the Like Zone.  What in our life is physically the effect of someone else’s cause?  Cause and effect.  The happily married word couple that’s strong enough to dent and ding any story on the planet.  Cause and effect.  With cancel culture that gifts the system of belief the right to dump the trunk.  Don’t do that.  Stop it. No matter how much you deny reality there’s always gonna be someone whose gonna call you out.  My first wife lived that life.  If it’s not happening now.  It never did.  I struggled with that.  Only to learn my career in broadcasting was no different.  Decision makers completely addicted to getting a different point of view and direction without wearing the patch that hollered out, “Yeah we did that!  But we grew from it!” Six years after my father’s passing I feel his presence more than I did while he was here. He became Yoda.  I’ve been trained to feel the force.  To look into the source of energy and find only the fuel and not the dinosaur remains that created the sludge.  Love is thicker than water.  Ghosting is extremely damaging.  Running away from home at any age is worse.  What then is the message in this mess? The identity of self.  If you don’t see yourself by way of cause and effect then how do you see others?  Boom, pow, biff and bang.  Happy birthday to my brother and Dad I don’t miss you.  You’re right here with me every day.  Grateful for your presence.